Bet The House
by inkymuse
Summary: COMPLETE: A hanyou, a girl and one irritating tell all busy body from beyond the well. It's totally, hilariously OOC, and was wickedly fun to write. Inuyasha/Kagome with some *ahem* snippets of Kouga, Miroku, Naraku, and of course what fiction would be complete without a pinch of Sesshoumaru... One Shot


Inuyasha and his gang belong to Rumiko Takahashi, I'm just being a bad, bad, really bad babysitter.

This was fun to write, came out of nowhere one day when I was reading other Fanfics, and I could see the whole thing playing out in my mind. Whacked, yea, I admit it but gawd my imagination really is one of my best friends!

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'Pssssssssssssst'

'Pssssssssssssst' irritated at the sound the hanyou looked around for the source of the whisper.

'Hey Inuyasha, over here'

Inuyasha's gaze caught a waving appendage just above the lip of the well to Kagome's time. 'What the ... 'He growled.

'Shhhhh... quiet.'

Inuyasha watched a bald head peek above the well lip and glanced over at the miko and the rest of his pack as they headed toward Kaede's hut. A finger touched the interloper's lips and then unfolded into a hand imperiously beckoning as a rather tall and strangely dressed man crawled out of the well and dropped to the forest floor.

Curious and rather a little cautious, the hanyou headed near, then sniffed, 'who the freak are you?'

'Never mind that,' The man reached into his shirt, 'we need to talk'

The hanyou's ear's twitched with annoyance, 'that so...'

'Yea, look, I thought you oughta know - Kagome's been'a gettin around.'

Inuyasha blinked in astonishment, 'Keh?'

'Yea, I've been reading the stuff at fanfiction and it seems that several other guys have been trying to nose in on your gal.' the man pulled out a bundle of papers and began rapidly flipping through them.

'Fan... what?' Inuyasha irritation peaked as he reached for the bundle, his claws ripping away a handful. His eyes growing round as he read "... he stroked her stomach his claws drawing lightly, dipping lower as her moans teased his ear. Kouga felt his body tighten...'Kagome,' he growled..."

Acid filling his throat, Inuyasha tossed away the strip of paper his gaze jerking over the next page, "We have to keep it secret Kagome, I wouldn't want to hurt Sango or Inuyasha.' the monk panted as Kagome leaned closer her chest brushing against his... "

The man glanced at the red faced hanyou and began busily picking up discarded slips of ripped paper stopping only at the raw growl rumbling from the hanyou's throat, 'Hey, it ain't me, man. It. Ain't. Me. If you can believe your eyes there's even one here with Kagome getting really, er, close to Nar...'

'Shut the hell up!' Inuyasha roared shoving the pages back at the man. 'Kagome wouldn't... '

The man straightened, rolling the bits of paper into a bundle and shoving them into his shirt. 'Hey man you know that, and I know that, but the folks at fanfiction they have to get their ideas from somewhere.'

Anger radiated from the hanyou as his fingers played with the hilt of his sword his head down, bangs hiding his eyes, his voice gritty with question 'What is it you want?'

'Me? I don't want nuthin' The man pulled a rolled ball cap from his back pocket and shoved it on his head brim backwards 'But you man you've gotta get your shit together or you're gonna lose your boo.'

Inuyasha's head jerked up, 'my what?'

'Your boo man, your piece, your squeeze, your girly,' noting the confused expression on the hanyou's face 'Your Kagome?'

'She's not my Kagome.'

'No?'

'Kikyo...'

'Oh right the night of the living dead babe...' the man nodded studying his patchwork timberlands '...the one you promised to go to hell with.' he leaned over rubbing an imaginary bit of dirt from the tip of his boots.

'Kikyo came after me, gave her life for me...' Inuyasha snarled his grip tightening on Tessaiga until his knuckles whitened.

'True. True. That's a natural fact.' the man mused then look up into the hanyou's eyes, 'But then so did Kagome.' He straightened.

Startled, Inuyasha stilled.

Shoving his hands in his front pockets the man continued, '... the arrow, the robe of the moon maiden, you wrapped in vines, ring any bells?'

How could he have forgotten, inwardly he winced, 'Yea, but I have a history with Kikyo. I was going to use the ...'

'... use the jewel to become human so you and Kikyo could be together, yup I know. Why?'

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed in irritation, 'Why? Whadda you mean, Why? To be with the woman, Baka!'

'Okayyyyyyy... 'the irritating man shrugged '... but that sound like a woman who really wants to be with you?'

Inuyasha's silence was his only response.

'Or maybe she loved the idea of what you would have been, human.'

Inuyasha grimaced as if trying to swallow something foul.

'Hey man ain't a big thing, we're here caus'a Kagome. I'm telling you man, you need to get it together, there's a whole lotta guys out there who'd love a lick of that sweetness.' The man turned back to the well and straddled the ledge, 'Course since you got Kikyo, and you're gonna go to hell with her; you ain't got any worries 'bout Kagome.' He studied the silent hanyou, 'To bad, cause that little lady likes you alive and jez as you are. That trip to hell you're gonna take, it's going to fair break her heart.'

The man held up his hands at Inuyasha's glare, 'Alright, alright I've said my piece who knows maybe Sesshoumaru will suck on that sweetness and mend her heart.' The man tumbled backward into the dark well as Inuyasha reached for him, missing.

Inuyasha stood for a long time staring down into the well listening to the grating of crickets and the scurrying sounds of prey escaping predator. His hands clenched into fists, his mind made up as he turned to Kaede's hut.

Sure Kikyo gave her life, sure he had a past with Kikyo, but that was his past. This was his today, and tomorrow and no one was gonna suck any damn sweetness unless it was him, he didn't care what the Baka fan - freaking' - fiction said.

He looked up at the tiny woman walking toward him, concern and sweetness coloring her expression, 'Inuyasha?'

He grabbed her, and pulled her to him crushing her in his arms as his lips took hers. His heavy heart growing lighter as her hands slid up his arms to close around his shoulders, accepting. This was who he was. She was who she was - he pulled away from the woman and looked down into heat glazed eyes, and kiss reddened lips then pulled her deeper into his arms and a soul stealing kiss - to hell with anyone else.

**- Fade to black - Hey a little privacy here! -**

'So how'd it go?' a little weasel of a man rubbed his hands together and studied the man emerging from the Bone Eater's well.

'I think he heard what I had to say,' the man hopped out of the well and brushed down his jeans.

The little man bopped from one foot to the other anxiously, 'But will it make a difference? The boss wants to know before he puts the money down. It's Kagome and Inuyasha 50 to 1'

A huge grin broke out on the man's face, as he clapped the little weasel on the back. 'I'd say we bet the house, my brotha. Bet the freaking house! '

xx


End file.
